It isn't pathetic that you are reaching out in your time of desperate need. I am glad you posted again because I know just how helpful this place can be. There are times when I leave for an extended period because I am doing inner work that needs my full focus but I always come back because I know this is a place where people understand and the people are willing to put themselves on the line, risking being triggered just to make sure that I get the help I need whether that is a pat on the back or a kick in the backside. Try not to look at seeking help and comfort and a place to vent as pathetic. It is taking a step in the care of yourself.
Carrie

To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueler then I've been to me.
I am sorry to myself, my apologies begin here before everybody else.
I am sorry to myself, for treating me worse then I would anybody else. --Alanis Moresette