My mother in law went through years of simply walking into Edie Bauer, grabbing the first shirt in the wmans section, getting three versions of it in large and giving those to us daughterin laws, and a "small-petite" version for herself. I revolted the day I got a lacy bright pink scoop-necked shirt, the like neither I or her daughter or her other daughter in law ever would have worn... she had gottern herself a much more sober, DECENT shirt that year "becaue I have gotten so old" . The one I had gotten was so big that there was no way that I could have worn that shirt without loosing everything I had in front through the neck lline, and she couldn't even see that!

The gift went diretly to good will. It did so in the other cases as well. There is a way of saying "well, I have to give a gift and say i spent money and so here it is" and my mother in law is good at that. there is not attempt to even guess at whether these gifts fit in size (I am 5'2", my sister-in-law is 5'11" and a rail, my btother -in-law's wife is 5'6" and hourglass figure) style or taste. She simply tosses the same at us all and expects us then to not only say thanks - we do- but to then wear and continue to thank her for this minimal display of - what? what is the intent?

We have given up. My sister in law continues to be angry at her mom's behavior and then mad because my b-i-l's wife calls my mom in law on it, and I just tell my hubby "you deal with them. I refuse to have to sit and smile while I get left hand compliments and right handed insults tossed at me all holiday season." I'd rather have a baattery charger given because someone knew we needed it, then an expensive shirt given when 1) Neither the color, style or size would have fit me 2)I could have actuall used the money better 3)the attitude accompanying the gift is "Now I've done MY duty, and just TRY to give me something in return". Because tryin to give her something is a good way to make her even madder than tryin tio help her.
Not all gifts are given with the idea of giving in mind.
Huggs all.