Lonegael --- "figments of the imagination" Great phrasing! So true!

I live on the opposite side of the country from any relative, and that is just fine by me. I was never comfortable at the gatherings of the past. The one side I had access to (story in itself), was not a group to overdo it on the alcohol, and the sparseness of its availability kept me in line too. Not that there isn't an issue there for sure (a cousin died just this year of), but the ones who were didn't spend much time at all at the gatherings (uncomfortable too??). The biggest issue was this uptight slant...projecting a kind of "Norman Rockwell" way, simply by ignoring anything "amiss" or unpleasant. Denial much? (The cousin who died this year? No obituarary.... Yeah.) Judgemental, for sure. My life has always rather strange , so it was easier to keep shut up and give short, generalized answers if put on the spot.

The other side of the family, I'm now known to again, but have never attended any gatherings (nor been invited, though they are nice to me). Plenty of alcholics on that side of the family tree, though a number are dead, so... no idea what a gathering would be like.

The ex-in law family? Had a really annoying habit of not only telling you what you should be doing with your life, but informing you what your opinions were. Any conversation would involve being bullied until, in exasperation, you'd agree, just to get them to STFU! Needless to say, I had nothing to say. My shyness helped somewhat on that front, though it was also considered yet more evidence of my weirdness. Soooo glad that whole scene is EX!

So, what on earth to enjoy?! Spend for a plane ticket? Don't think so! Not surprisingly I am considered fallen off the edge of the earth, though that is my doing in never responding to, say, to Xmas cards in earlier years (signed names only). What to say anyway?

HOWEVER. This year received a very sweet note on a card from BF's dad. It was so nice.