It feels like you are trying very hard but running into a wall.
With therapy, there does have to be a connection and fit.
Some people do not fit with other people. Some types of therapy are not good for some people. My T told me he had to go through twenty therapists before he found the one who was right for him and could help him out.

The secret is to not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If your therapy is doing more harm than good, you have to make a change. It does not mean that the entire practice of doing therapy will not work for you because there is something out there that will give you the healing you deserve. I think bloom's reference is perfect!

The other part is that therapy involves exposing wounded parts of our soul to another human. Frankly, that is one of the most dangereous things someone who needs therapy can do - or it sure feels that way!!! So give yourself some points for being willing to expose yourself to another person.

Don't be hard on yourself for the responses you have to therapy. There are reasons you push or pull or hide or fight the process of therapy itself. The mind will do ANYTHING it feels it needs to do in order to be safe. Anything.

Just don't give up on your own ability to get the mental health that every person deserves.