I have found 2 things help me to bounce back quicker. The first thing is to admit to the people I was yelling at or around that I was behaving badly. Before I actually totally calm down but am back in control I appologize for yelling or slamming things. Then in the evening before bed I sit down with my kids and appologize to them (since they are the ones to usually see me at my worst) and explain to them that what I did was not appropriate and that I wish I had done it like ______________. I also tell them that I love them and hope they don't pick up this habit because it is not good. Then I tell them how I am going to discipline myself for the poor behavior such as going to bed early--they don't know that is actually quite a treat for me, ha ha.

The second thing I do is I put myself in my therapists chair. I try to view the situation from the outside. I have seen my guy for long enough now I pretty much know all his answers. So by "sitting in his chair" I find that I am able to access those answers but if I don't do that role play I just can't seem to remember what it is he said. This process fascinates me. It is so strange that I have the information in my head but can't access unless I step outside myself. Totally wierd.

I do agree with your T on the subject of us having to stop with the SI. As long as we continue to do it we are preventing ourselves from learning and using appropriate calming rituals. But stopping is so much easier said then done. When I have tried in the past to stop cold turkey so to speak I ended up drinking damn near every night and my driving would get down right dangerous...not because I was drinking, I have rarely driving after drinking...well I will down a screwdriver in 15 seconds at the bar by my work then jump in the car and drive home. The booze just starts to work its wonders right as I enter the driveway.
Carrie

To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueler then I've been to me.
I am sorry to myself, my apologies begin here before everybody else.
I am sorry to myself, for treating me worse then I would anybody else. --Alanis Moresette