this is sticking in my head, out of everything she said, this one bit:

.

my response was that yes, T is safety for me, and that's okay. But...in my heart, in my gut, I'm afraid M is right. I'm afraid T or other people think the same thing, that I depend on T too much. I'm afraid I have asked too much and pushed too hard and demanded what I get from T.

Anyway. That's what's sticking with me, what I can't shake or quite stop thinking about.