LMo,

That is a really good question. Unfortunately, it brings out my bad attitude. My family? They are the ones who made me like this and did everything possible to make sure I was pushed back down into the hole whenever I tried to climb out. My mother doesn't know how to relate to anybody unless they have a problem and she gets to take care of them. (Co-dependent). My sister followed Mom's lead when we were teenagers. Out of the six children in my family of origin, 4 have received treatment for depression. Sometimes it could get to be like a competition - who can have the worst problem and be worthy of getting help. It's not that bad now - most of us grew up, and nobody disputes that the winner of that competition is my brother who is also schizophrenic, not counting the youngest sister who has Down Syndrome, and Mom has plenty to deal with between the two of them and has been able to let go of the rest of us a little.

Okay, now I can get into a few positive things. Two of my sisters and I are finally starting to be able to talk about it a little bit, and the one who followed Mom's example when we were teenagers became a pdoc and since I started opening up to her a little this year she has been much more supportive than I ever thought she would be. Being able to talk about it to someone who understands is really helpful. Someone who even makes an effort to understand also helps.

My husband is finally realizing that I've had a real problem all along (he used to try to minimize it and tell me that there wasn't anything wrong with me, and that doesn't help). The thing that he is doing now that is good is he is recognizing when I'm getting close to the edge and can't take any more (of a situation, criticism either from him or someone else, etc.) and trying to stop things like that before I go over the edge. The awareness means a lot to me. Another thing is, he has always kind-of used me as a therapist, and would go on and on about what was bothering him for 2 or 3 hours, and I tried to deal with it but when it is issues that I'm involved in especially, eventually I get to a breaking point. I've told him we need to limit sessions like that to half an hour or an hour at the most, and he tries to remember that. He's a counselor himself by profession, but really doesn't listen as well as he thinks he does, at least not to me. If I try to talk to him about things he always makes it about him or jumps in with solutions and really doesn't give me a chance to say what I want to say. So having or developing listening skills would really help.

Sorry, this isn't very positive. My family really hasn't been helpful generally, but maybe counterexamples will help someone at least know what not to do. Maybe I shouldn't have answered this right now - I'm worried about someone and I guess it is starting to bring me down some even though I thought I was doing okay. But I guess this is a sore issue for me too, as I always wished that my family were more helpful.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>