Well i kind of learned that my birthday is the worst day of my life. Its the day that my suffering began. The day i was put on this earth to make others feel better by tearing me down. The day i was born for the soul purpose of being the fat kid, the retard, the bullied. I tend to get depressed around my birthday no matter what. I wish that my family would not make a big deal about it. My friends at work im fine with them making a big deal but my family im not. THEY gave me this existance into this hell hole i call earth. For 12 years my birthday ment teasing, taunting, and beatings from school bullies. From people on the bus (which by the way i can never drive behind a school bus cause of the smell). I know presents dont mean a thing on ur birthday but when people say happy birthday to shey who was born the same day as me and has been bullied by the same people as me, and give presents to her, and no one remembers my birthday and its easy KAY AND SHEY SAME BIRTHDAY, it kind of makes you, wait scratch that, IT MAKES you resent ur existance. Now dont get me wrong i love life now because im out of schoolm but really thats how i felt. And today the first birthday out of school and i still have the lasting effects. I want to enjoy dec 2 but i cant cause i know that date gave my mom a little ****** and gave a life pain. I resent my birthday. I resent my existance. But what can i do. It was my mom who got drunk, went to a party and boom im here. I, a result of a drunk one nite stand, I the thorn in my moms @ss, the mistake of the lord and lady, the poster child for trash. Really. I just dont want dec 2 to come. I allready wish it was dec 3rd. I dont want today to happen. I just want today to end.

Sorry if this is triggering to any one but its just how i feel.