Hi
I am sorry. I know how you feel, but wasn't sure to respond on this or your other post.
I have had so many times like that.. being with other people and wanting to just stay away from them, and feeling the pressure. I am much older than you, but I remember times when I just hid from my husband's family on vacation once; I was upstairs crying and it just seemed like everyone else was having a good time.
Then it seemed worse because I felt so guilty.
Lately I have had those issues with my older kids being home, so I am really not one to give advice.
I will say, though, that in retrospect, I thought it was much worse than it really was. People do really care but they don't know how to respond. And believe it or not, they are not all thinking and talking about it all of the time. If they are nice people, then they are concerned and not making judgements. If they are not nice, then who cares what they think? You deserve some empathy. Every human does.
You do not need to "come clean" and discuss how you feel with everyone. It is complicated. Try to remember that everyone there has there own issues as well, they just might be able to hide them as easily.
It sounds like you have junk from your childhood that has made you uncomfortable at being who your are and accepted for that; oh my, I get that. This is not your fault. There is no one right way to be. You are a sensitive and thoughtful and caring woman. Try not to just assume they are like your parents, or that it is wrong for you to feel different around them, Just accept the kindness, and take care of yourself.