I could say a lot concerning issues with my OCD, but right now, I want to keep this somewhat short, because I have a lot to do tonight, and I have a headache.

I've been so stressed out lately, and my OCD gets worse with stress. I, too, feel like I'm being punished a lot of the time, whether it's simply because I have OCD, or because of something that happens. Like, if something happens where I have to clean up a mess, which also includes dealing with OCD, I might feel like I'm being punished. Sometimes it's just that I feel like someone (God? The Devil? Fate?) just likes making me suffer. And sometimes, it's just that I can't have things go right.

I feel like I don't appreciate my boyfriend enough sometimes, because he puts up with me, yet I feel angry and hurt because of some of the things he does (or doesn't do). I will start to say something to him, or be in the middle of a topic, and he'll just start talking or leave, like I wasn't talking at all. It really hurts my feelings. My mom has done that, too. Am I so boring, or unimportant, that it's okay to tune me out?

My OCD is bad. I feel guilty because I don't have the courage to deal with it, yet I know a lot of the usual treatments won't work, because I have tried them. It takes such a toll on me.