No help for me, I am just plain, old stuck in a hard place. When I manage to find some joy in my life it is only short lived. I am to the point I don't even want to try anymore I am so emotionally worn down. I don't have much of a fight left in me. My mind doesn't want think, my body is tired and just don't know where to turn. Tired of trying new T's, because to start talking about what brought me to where I am now is quite frankly like being retraumatized.

Gangraped several times, a few individual rapes, emotional, verbal and physical abuse by husband, have Hep C and trying to keep my liver healthy until new treatment is approved. Most cases I had no support when first traumatized and self medicated for many years. Now I try not to take any meds to save my liver and have not really found any to help but instead just deaden my emotions or exacerbate the crazy feelings or create other negative side effects.

Its been 40 yrs of struggle, I don't even know why I'm reaching out here. I'm ready quit my job and just give up and see where that takes me. Can't seem to handle stressful situations very well at work and in life in general. People who don't know what I've gone thru only see me as difficult to get along with others who do know just expect me to get over it. And believe me no wants get over it more than I do