I've been worse lately, and so has Sherman. He went at another dog today at the park, totally unprovoked. Sherman was playing happily with a husky pal of his just before this. Afterward, only left at home alone for 3 hours, he lost control of his bladder. This happens every once in a while. He needs more of a workup. He has bad gas and loose stool chronically. Bacterial and giardia tests in the past were negative, but something's going on. I feel horrible anxst that I don't have money for extensive vet diagnostics, and feel horrible guilt that I adopted him, rather someone with financial means and a functional life. I'm angry at myself for being so impulsive after seeing him as an adorable 9 week old puppy, without stopping and thinking hard about his breed, his adult size, or realizing the impact of my mental illness on him. I was so unfair, and caused him harm. It took 2 experiences of having dogs to see it was a mistake, too stressful for the dogs and for myself. Well, I'm just doing my obsessive mea culpa self-flagellation thing here, so I'll stop