for 3 years christmas holidays has always been ruined in different ways. first year my cat died, second year i was sexually assaulted and now this year well..
my mom told my dad not to come to our christmas gathering we usually have, she made him stay home. and today my dad came into my room, hugged me and told me he was leaving. that was 2 hours ago. so i looked out the window and watched as he drove away. he never told me where he was going or what was going to happen. all he said was that mom was going to get what she wanted and that he was leaving.
i started crying my eyes out because i knew it meant divorce. after i watched him leave i ran out side, it didn't matter where i was going, i just ran. i ran and hid from my mom because soon after she was out there looking for me and calling and texting me.

why couldn't she leave.
why does everything have to go her way.

my heart hurts so much, it feel like someone is stabbing me in the chest with a butcher knife, it's breaking. it feels like i'm not alive anymore, i don't know what to do anymore.
i know it's for the best but i don't know what to do anymore or how to even handle this.