Dear hayward. You are their mom. For them you will NEVER be worthless. That is your illness talking. They know more about how you feel than you know. I know mine do. They have an extra sense for it. Please, have faith in their love for you, dear. You will always be special for them, becausethey know your true value more than you know it yourself right now. HUGGGGGSSSSS dear. Rest now for a bit, complain all you need to, then see if there is something you can do to give you a feeliing that you have done something good, no matter how small. The holidays are tough, tough , tough. You deserve some rest.