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Dec 28, 2010, 07:02 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi Hayward -- I drank like that -- to be numb, to escape - and i did it for 20 years. I drank quite heavily too until I crossed that invisible line into alcoholism. I began to crave the stuff, it was all I could think about-- where was i going to get my next drink? What store was I going to buy it from? Where did I buy it yesterday? I can't go to the same one today!! I NEED the alcohol because I must escape and numb myself!
How awful to live like that.  My husband had also crossed the line into alcoholism. Finally I'd hit bottom and didn't want to live like that anymore. i became sick and tired of being sick and tired. So i called AA -- and the man who answered put me in touch with a woman (since I'm a woman) and she met me at an AA meeting the next night. That was 7-29-93 and I've been sober ever since.
Drinking can kill you - and I was on my way to death. If I had kept drinking like I was, I would have died fairly soon. My liver wouldn't have taken much more. As it stands now, my liver is in great shape. I have seen TOO MANY fellow AA'ers buried in the past 17+ years -- and it could have been me. I didn't want to die a drunk.
If you do stop drinking, things DO change. You find that your life begins to be manageable. You find that GOOD things begin to happen. You find that depression lifts -- and if it doesn't you know it's not the booze doing it - so you go to the doctor and get on an antidepressant. I've been on one for years, as I've been clinically depressed for years. But you'll find many if not most of your problems will disappear.
Why not try AA -- go to a meeting and see what you think. Go to a couple of meetings. I swear to you that AA works. Also, you don't have to listen to the "God" talk. Just take what you like and leave the rest. But don't keep drinking -- it WILL kill you eventually - if not sooner. God bless. Hugs, Lee
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