Confused, I feel the same as you. I have been through the ringer with diagnoses. At 17 it was depression. At 20-23 it was PTSD, anxiety, depression, a personality disorder no otherwise specified, insomnia, nightmares, etc. At 25 it was bipolar disorder which was pushed down to anxiety.

As of late I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and crazy mood swings (granted, the crazy mood swings have always been there). I tried to get medicated for the anxiety this year and the psychologist (after putting me on kolonopin and me blacking out into a very violent rage of a weekend) finally sat me down and said "After looking at your chart completely and looking at your history and hearing the way that you talk about life and the way life is I feel that you have borderline personality disorder." I asked him how he thought that I fit into that specific diagnosis and he read off the DSM symptoms and my whole life came flooding before my eyes. Everything that I had done and everything that I had thought of doing... all the emotions and the feeling of not being understood and jumping from one relationship to the next made complete sense. I actually started to cry from the relief to have a name to put to my thoughts, feeling, emotions, and self.

While at the time I was scared and confused, albeit relieved, I did a lot of research and found answers (Thank you, Google). I explained it to my boyfriend, who embraced the diagnosis and now tries to calm me down before things get overbearing.

I still have my outbursts and my calmer times and my insecurities but I am trying to find ways to help myself while I wait to get into DBT (which is who knows how long of a wait). I am also (finally) going to see my counselor for the first time since dx (three weeks ago) tomorrow. I see the psychologist again in the first week of January to start off the new year. Hopefully he has news about DBT and when I can start it (hoping that it is in a time that I don't have school).

Isn't it odd how such a diagnosis can help more than hinder? I am much happier now that I have answers or an answer to everything I have been feeling since I was 16-17. Now if only I learn how to not fly off the handle.