My having "fallen in love" with my therapist ended up being the very thing that healed me. I'd suffered a very painful loss and needed to believe that loving someone was worth the pain of eventually losing that person. In recognizing that I'd chosen to love my therapist despite having prior knowledge that I would lose him, I came to understand and embrace love itself. When I looked inside those feelings, I found the best of myself. I discovered my capacity to love and in that discovered self-love. Very powerful. Very healing. But that was my journey.

Everyone's journey in therapy is their own. Feelings and responses all hold information about you. Transference is about you. I've haven't yet read your other posts, so I apologize if I'm not understanding your entire situation. I'm sorry that this has been so very painful to you! How are you feeling today? Right now?