((((((Noirkitten))))) it sounds like what you are looking for is a caring real and stable relationship, that is something, from the sound of it, this guy can't give you. You deserve to have that, and you deserve to have a guy that will treat you with respect and care. Sometimes it gets confusing when we are looking for one thing and think we want another. Maybe it would be best to end things with this guy for the time being, it seems it is causing you a lot of distress. You need to do what is best for you and remember good self care, because you are a person of worth and value Noirkitten.