I was afraid of that. Desensitizing would most likely be a futile thing but it seems safest right now. It's really hard to think that there may be a reason for having triggers in the first place. I know you guys are further in your healing. You have been there, done that. I know I need to just give it up and do what needs to be done. I don't know why I stay in such denial and refusal. I suppose it is fear of the unknown, fear of pain, fear of fear.

I do journal now, but I tend to erase things that are written there that make me uncomfortable. I know that it's probably not a good thing to do. But, I do keep in there what I can.

I think the charting is a very good idea. I would like to do that at some point. I will talk to my T about that. I know that her goal at the moment is helping me stabilize and keep safe, through my own events and the events of others in my life. At times it is very hard because I need to be here, not gone, due to events happening in the here and now, but the here and now events are triggering me so I am gone. Seems like a no-win situation at the moment.

KD, I think it's so awesome that you are able to do that. I wish I was at that point where I was thankful to be who I am.

Thank you both so much. Please keep sharing.