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Old Dec 28, 2010, 04:21 PM
SadlyEverAfter SadlyEverAfter is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: The Cold Parts...
Posts: 4
I am currently seeing a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) In the U.S. as I live in America. I have been seeing her off an on for nearly two years... I took several months off but I am back at it now due to the fact that all my problems started in June of 2009 and are not gone yet.
I have NO idea what kind of Dissociation my LCSW claims that I have but she said it sounds like some type of Dissociation to her. My symptoms are extremely varied and hard to pin point but some do seem to sound similar to conversion disorder.
I am experiencing hypersensitivity to almost every sensation or feeling. For instance the simple feeling of having to hiccup can feel like I'm near ready to explode... a burning in my stomach can feel like flames engulfing me from the inside out. Warm water on my hands while feeling slightly familiar just feels too intense for me... I have great difficulty with temperature changes as whenever I feel hot or cold, it feels unbearable. Also heaven forbid when just one part of me feels hot or cold it is difficult to deal with because it just feels so powerful... though slightly reminiscent of a normal sensation... it all feels about 75% stronger than it ever did before.
On top of that... difficulty swallowing, problems dropping things, random yet somewhat mild spasms, memory loss, time lapses, etc.
But by far the hardest things to deal with are the changes in physical sensations... I go for hours realizing any sensation... such as the need to pee and suddenly it hits me like the strongest feeling I've ever felt, like wise and the same for nearly every other bodily function. Also people touching me hurts at times when I know it shouldn't... and my hypersensitivity makes it at times hard to handle being touched at all because it becomes so strong and unbearable that my skin literally begins to crawl and I feel as though I'm going to leap out of my body. This makes relations and closeness with my partner very difficult.

as a bit of a background I also experience trembling/shaking, increased ability to shiver, almost constantly tensed muscles, horrific cramps, nausea, general illness, minor hallucinations, (such as the smell or taste of something that isn't there) slight paranoia, (for instance the feeling that just something unexplainable isn't right with the world) extreme anxiety and panic, etc. It all started roughly two weeks after my partner of nearly 6 years up and left me, moved 15 hours away and disappeared. No idea if that has anything to do with it or not. My partner left in late May of '09 it began in June of '09.
The first times it started happening, it showed up only as a complete lack of awareness, zoning out, losing time, forgetting things and de ja vu sensations. Also behavioral changes like lying and shop lifting... with nothing but vague memories of those behaviors that were so hazy I hesitated to believe they were really me or really happened.

I apologize if this is completely off topic... but like I said... my LSCW mentioned suspicions of some type of conversion/dissociation thing causing my physical side effects. I have a great deal of digestive issues now as well. I've also been through dozens of medical tests, including an MRI, etc. none of which could find anything... I am set to see a neurologist in the upcoming future...

Almost all of my symptoms by now are gone except the physical hypersensitivity, digestive issues, slight paranoia, anxiety, etc. Did I mention hearing hypersensitivity? Oh my goodness, sometimes I hear a noise that really shouldn't bother me but it seems so powerful my ears just cant handle it, I feel as though I will be knocked off my feet by those powerful noises... at times my mind literally shuts down for a few moments after a loud noise, I have no idea if my eyes close or if I just completely quit seeing... but after a loud, disturbing noise... my vision goes completely black for up to 20 seconds or so and all I see is stars or sparkles or sometimes nothingness and during the time I lose all perception of gravity and balance because I no longer am aware if I am standing, sitting, laying, falling... I usually get my senses back in time to catch myself before I truly fall over but it is a close call sometimes.

Does any of this sound like that? Or is my LSCW just mistaken?
I am confused.