Thank you so much for your replies!

MY 3 children don't want to come with me to see their grandmother. I guess this, in itself, says a lot. They said they will send a card but that's all. I will not in any way force them to go that's for sure. My mother can be really nasty. It is really sad because my children are kind and very loving, their grandmother misses a lot by being so mean.

I haven't made my decision yet. But a card , a phone call, a few words in a letter would be good I think. I don't know. I wish I would live very very far aways from her but I'm only half hour drive.

You are all so very kind! I'm so so lucky to have you all!