thankyou guys. it is really hard on me, i'm not sure about my older sister.
it's weird not having my dad around. because i live on a farm i always think that he's outside feeding the cows or something but no, he left. he was always at home everyday and so was i. me and him go trough the same things and we've always had eachothers backs. we both suffer from PTSD, depression and insomnia. he always made me laugh even if i was angry. he understood whatever i was going through.
i miss him so much, even though it's only been a day. but i can't help but think of how sad he is and how he was crying when he hugged me goodbye.

my heart still aches every second.
i don't know the next time i'll be able to see him, or if this is serious.

i just really wish i could talk to someone about this. but i have no friends to talk to or shoulders to cry on.

it feels like my life is over. i have nothing to do, nothing to look forward to.
all i want to do is sleep and never wake up