I don't think I can stop SI. I have tried many times, with therapy and without, and I don't get anywhere. I have actually just gotten worse over time. The past few days I have cut three times as much as usual.

I am tired of talking about it in therapy or on hotlines because they just ask what I have done in the past to help me and what might work now, etc. They aren't bad questions but after doing it so many times it doesn't help anymore. I know what relieves stress for me but those things only go so far and sometimes they don't work hardly at all.

Having those conversations and having time continue to pass with myself only getting worse is making me lose a lot of hope. I have run out of ideas and have started to give up on myself. I was trying to think of what I would want other people, like my therapist, to do for me since I am frustrated by the conversations we have been having. But I can't think of anything. I know I have to be the one to heal myself but I feel unable to. In a way, I don't even want to continue with my life anymore to see what will happen next. I feel like I am losing control and don't see anything in my life that is improving my SI or any of my other issues.