I had split off so much of my original self that I hadn't any idea about what I liked etc..but saying that who I am now is more about a feeling of self...An awareness of a me being there..this is what I lost due to abandoments etc...since being in therapy and talking and talking, its not just T who has listened, who has witnessed me..that hidden part that is me has too and continues too..theres a me I can believe in now...its not so much about taste etc because that can change..its that hole no longer being there where I should have been...its not needing anything external to define who I am...and that is a wonderful feeling...the wind may blow but I am now rooted...this is the self.