Thank you, Dark_Dreams and sunrise for your thoughtful replies. This is such a wretched, difficult time for me that even the most basic decisions feel out my reach, and every day tasks are insurmountable in many ways.

Dark_Dreams, I guess I took for granted the history my therapist already may have, as I don't recall much of the introductory talk at the moment. Life was so frenzied when I made that first appointment, and I was intimidated by the process, in addition to the anxieties and woes that had driven me to seek help. Thank you for reminding me too that trust takes time to build in any relationship, and I don't think I have the stamina to re-establish that right now.

sunrise, thank you for sharing your experiences. They offer a lot of perspective and familiarity--I too had to stop therapy as I felt it had hit a wall, but not from a lack of willingness from the doctor. I was set on what I believed about an external situation beyond my control, though I could intellectually agree with the points of view my therapist offered. He even mentioned that I would not progress if I was unwilling to let go this situation in which I was mired, and that I should consider the time, effort, and money that potentially would be wasted by my insistence that a rut is a progressive place to live. Of course, it's far more complicated than a simple rut, but I'm being intentionally vague and euphemistic here. I want you to know I appreciate your encouragement, and need it too. I see no end to the dark days in which I now live, and cannot believe how good I once had it...though there is a large part of me that says I did and still do appreciate all I had.