~I really wish I had some "PING!" sort of answer for you.I don't have one.I can tell you that I live with the same reality on a daily basis.As far as the "Who I am" portion I almost have 5 separate lists of who I am so as to be a novella of who "we are".Ugh...I am sorry you struggle with this issue as I can completely relate.Perhaps it'd be easier to view your self as a prism which reflects a rainbow array of color onto things depending on the angle that light (situations in life) travels through it.Humans are complicated and very multifaceted.If you don't really change for other people...you are doing better than me lol.I am driftwood riding waves...lol.Wish I could help better than that.((((hugs)))~W~