My entire being has been thrown off by family tragedy and deep despair. I barely eat and have not been out of the house since I arrived from the airport over a week ago. The dreams I have, when I manage *some* sleep, are so torturous and bizarre I cannot relate them here. At other times during these days, I have had a few marathon sleep sessions that do not equate with real rest. After I wake, I must confront the horrible situation that has consumed me, which in and of itself is exhausting.

I know I should take measures into my own hands, but I feel lost as I'm usually a decent sleeper and follow the cues of my body and mind to the best of my ability and as circumstances allow. Also, how do you even implement some sort of sleep regimen or take action when you are in emotional chaos? When everything has become hopeless?

I keep waiting to run out of steam. Instead, I am pushed around by a sluggish vortex of exhaustion and thoughts that won't permit rest.