When I was younger I was bullied all the time at school. I was bullied really badly and I never had any friends or anyone to talk too. When I finally made a friend I was 14. Now I'm 17 nearly 18. The problem is that I have finally got with the girl I love and adore so much about. But I have a habbit of saying things without meaning them or actually thinking about them. It's so frustrating and I need help. I want to get rid of this problem. She came to me with advice and I told her 'It's between you and him.' I realized what I had said after I said it. And I didn't mean it in the way I had said it, the wat I said it mean it seem as if 'I dont' care.' When thats not the case, what I really meant was 'I'll be honest with you, don't worry about me being biased.' I don't know why I couldn't of just said that, I don't realize until I've actually done it. And I've done it alot of times, I've upset her and dissapointed her. I'm forever hurting her because of my wrecklessness. But I really love her, so much. And it hurts me to know that I'm doing it without actually meaning it. I want to get over this problem, I want to be able to talk to her and not worry about what I'm going to say.. I need help and I've finally had enough and looking for help. She knows about my problem, but it still isn't enough. It's still not an excuse, I don't want to have this anymore. I need her support to help me through, but she's sick of hearing me telling her that I'll get it fixed. But now I'm actually doing it because she means so much to me. She told me to try and fix it and thats what I'm trying to do.
Can you help me or point me to someone who can help me?