sunrise: It would have been different if I remembered the incident, but I have no recollection of it whatsoever. Now I'm confused about what my T said about it! I know she said that I'm not 5 now, and I don't have to be scared about what happened then. But, unlike Bt who left it at that, my T wants to explore those feelings more. I think it was more like "this is interesting, may be one small piece of the puzzle but not the whole picture." She didn't say that, though.

At the end of the session, I did tell her that I wished and thought she would have found the incident more significant. Then, if I recall correctly, she said she hadn't said it wasn't important, and maybe in a couple of weeks we could do EMDR about it. But, before that, she said EMDR would be about something else.

IDK. I have trouble remembering or processing information from my sessions. Also, T changes her mind often. She's got to have some weak points otherwise she'd be perfect.

I wished she would have thought it was THE answer because then I'd KNOW why I have the need for security, to hold her hand, etc. She said we may or not find any definitive answer in my childhood. I kind of "get that" now. It just built up, like you said. She thinks my "selective mutism" is important, but I tell her that's now considered social phobia. I don't think it was caused by anything my parents did or didn't do, but rather by heredity. I need to discuss that with my T, as I think we disagree about it.