WePow, when we are neglected by our parents it leaves a very large wound and then little things like the coffee can trigger that wound. So it really isn't the small thing of today that hurts so much but the big wound from the past. What I found is that once I healed the old wounds and worked on the triggers as they occurred, I was able to get to a point where I don't get triggered so much and when I do it is much easier to deal with.