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Originally Posted by stormyangels
Most have a time limit. Some ethics say 2 years. Some say you can never befriend the therapist/client.
The therapist/client relationship is unique, with different sets of boundaries and rules. To transition to a friend relationship would be difficult because the therapist has been the one responsible for keeping the relationship in check. They are non-judging, always open to listening, being there with you through it for that 1 hour a week.
A friend relationship is on an even ground. Give and take. It would be incredibly difficult to make the shift from being the therapist and/or the client, to a friend. You would have to listen to the therapist's down falls, their struggles. It wouldn't be just about you any longer. The whole reason therapist's limit self disclosure, is to allow the client to have a safe, undisruptive journey without negative response from the therapist.
I allow myself to really sit and think through what it would be like to take a client in as a friend. I wondered, what would it hurt, really? Well, as a friend, I can be incredibly insensitive when I'm tired. I can feel worn out, angry, irritable. There are times I don't want to sit and process something. There are times, I flat don't care about some things when I'm out of therapist mode.
If you were to shift, now it's not only your FRIEND that said something hurtful. But your "past" therapist. The person who has taught you all these skills, ways to have healthy coping, communication, knows your past inside and out, and yet they still hurt you. That's what makes it so complicated. That other relationship will always, always be there. That this person was your therapist. And as a therapist you're "supposed to" model all of these things. As a friend, not so much.
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In my view your reasoning is perfect, but in my case my relationship with my therapist is on such equal grounds (at least that's the way I perceive it) that I don't think I would be surprised if I were to "discover" that my therapist is a human being with his own unique set of challenges and problems. I have never shared with my therapist any information that I wouldn't have shared with a good friend or anything damning or that, in my opinion, would create a "power" imbalance that would render any future friendship impossible. I have a very nice relationship with my therapist and I openly call him when I disagree with his arguments. My therapist does the same thing when I make careless arguments and there are never any hard feelings or anything that makes the advice I receive from my therapist seem authoritarian or one-sided. We almost always try to reach a friendly agreement and sometimes simply agree to disagree. My only concern is that I am just another job to my therapist and that he doesn't care about me as much as I'd like to think he does. I think I would feel very hurt if, once the therapy is over, I offer my friendship to my therapist but he refuses to accept it, be it because he is not interested in my friendship, because he thinks he would be unable to transition from being a therapist to being a friend, or because of ethical rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
Different professional associations have different guidelines. Some say wait 2 years with no contact during that period. Some say other things. You can look up the different guidelines online at the association websites if you want to see the range. I think it's a good question for your therapist. Your therapist can explain his/her policy and the rationale behind it. Would you like to be friends with your therapist after your therapy is over?
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When you say different "associations", can you please tell me what are some of the associations that you have in mind? The only psychological association that I'm familiar with is the APA. Is that what you were thinking of or is it something that varies from state to state and agency to agency?