Bipolar. This has crossed my mind from time to time. I have always defaulted to not drawing attention to it in therapy/Rx sessions. I don't want to medicate the highs away. They are managable and pleasant. This is when I feel to be my "real" self. My excuse is the "high" is not all that high - not like speed or coke by far. I also am not inclined to doing anything with my flights of fantasy. I simply enjoy the tops of the waves and maintain course.

On the down side, these rapid waves are quite short and endurable, at least for the time being. There have been times when they persist and lead to a bit of paranoid "delusions". It seems they don't linger as long if I don't fight them off.

In the past few years I have found there is a way to induce very long lasting high cycles. It has been very expensive, but fantastically fun. Travel, especially to very foreign places like Africa and Asia. It is a socially acceptable addiction. When in the midst of a very strange place, I am in a constant buzz of hyper alertness. I am very talkative, and sociable. It is as close to a cocaine buzz as I know of without actually taking any drug.