Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiberius
Those of you who have followed the messages I have posted on this forum are probably aware that I have a problem trusting therapists and dealing with emotional attachment to them. You are also probably aware that I have been hinting at the idea that therapy is not for everyone and that therapy is obviously not for me.
I have my own theories on the subject, but I'd like to hear opinions concerning my distrust of therapists as well as my reluctance to lose sight of the fact that to my therapist I am just a job. I still feel as though I am right, but I am surprised by the number of people on this forum who obviously don't perceive their relationship with their therapist the way I perceive my relationship with mine.
Please enlighten me and tell me how you, having considered the ideas I have discussed on this forum, can still deal with therapy and supposedly benefit from it.
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Hi Tiberius I just wanted to say I relate to your post (although more in the past than now).
I think there are a number of questions you need to ask, starting with: do you trust people *outside* of therapy? If so, that's one thing. But if not (which I suspect), then you need to recognize that you have a general problem with trust in general (this is not to pathologize you, just to recognize things as they are).
I too would prefer help I didn't have to pay for but one thing you could tell yourself is that because it is a job for this person (although many think of it as calling more), they are more likely to stay educated in the field, observe professional behavior, and so on (arguably, and in general).
Also therapy is *incredibly* personal, in the sense that there has to be some kind of chemistry or simpatico between the two people. Therapists don't really talk about this too much, in my opinion, because 1) they want to believe that they have the interpersonal skills to make a meaningful connection with just about anyone and 2) broaching the subject would make it easier for people to therapist-shop, which can be countertherapeutic for the client, and bad business for therapists (since their interest is in having clients, preferably for a certain amount of time).
I haven't read any of your other posts so I don't know if you discuss how many therapists you have tried. Regardless I would keep trying new people, you never know when you will click with someone's "style". Also I have had group therapy recommended to me several times, for this very reason I suspect (at least in part). A really talented therapist should be able to make you feel like you are more than a job to him/her, ideally.
Also I find that the more people you have in your life whom you trust the less you will be dependent on the T for trustworthiness, hopefully you will be able to simultaneously recognize that it is their profession for example, but not let that fact get in the way of your being able to ask for the help that you want/need.
P.S. Why don't you tell us your theories on it? It would probably make it easier to help you, all other things being equal.