Hi kiddo. Hey have you considered that since you were bullied and harrassed and messed with while growing up, you might be extra anxious about dealing with people?
Fear of rejection and all that? Plus, your hormones are raging making clear thinking a challenge in the best of times??

I find, the more anxious I am, the more likely I am to say the exact opposite of what I mean!!! Very upsetting. A lot of times I only manage to get half a thought out...... which gives the wrong impression.

Is there a youth crisis line in your area? Not that you are in crisis, but they usually know of free counselling services and could refer you. Breath from your diaphram, and cut yerself some slack, ok?