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Originally Posted by emilyjeanne
Can I ask why you are in therapy?
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Lack of motivation. Stress. Mild depression. Etc.
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Because the statement above seems like you want a friendship rather than therapy.
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I want friendship with my therapist because I like my therapist. I am not looking for friendship with the first person willing to give it to me.
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The whole nature of the therapeutic relationship is that it is a "power imbalance" because it is one sided. The T is not there to have their needs met.
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That's true but I've never felt as though my therapist exercises power over me. He has some influence over me but then again, so do my friends, coworkers and family.
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I had a relationship outside of therapy with my old T. It was disasterous and created more problems than you can imagine.
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If you don't mind sharing your story, I'd love to know more about it.
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Now that I have a T with strict boundaries, I would never image being friends with her after I ended T. I don't want to be her friend. I want her to be my therapist.
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Maybe you just don't like your current therapist as much as you liked your previous therapist. I don't like my therapist just because he is my therapist. I like him because of the way he is.
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What I suggest is talk to your T about everything. Including the stuff you would never tell your friends. Use the relationship to heal what ails you.
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I talk to my therapist about almost everything, except of course my feelings toward him because I don't know how he is going to respond.
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Originally Posted by Fartraveler
(For example, have you shared with your therapist your fear that he doesn't like you as much as you want him to?) (Or your wish to have a relationship with him outside of therapy?)
-Far
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I have alluded to that fear but I have not directly confronted him about it. I am afraid that our relationship will go downhill if he feels like I am expecting him to be something to me outside of therapy. I also fear that I will feel hurt if I don't like his answer. After all, he is just my therapist and I his client and just because it feels like he is already my friend, it doesn't mean he is.