Take care of yourself and hang in there. I know you're going through a lot right now and everything...try to do some relaxation techniques like deep breathing, counting your breaths, listening to soothing music, etc. Keep busy if you don't think you're gonna be safe by using the relaxation techniques. I always have to keep my hands busy by typing, playing cards, or doing crafts. See if any of that helps you any. Keep posting, too. We're all here for you.