thanks for the replies.

tree, I do think I am developing trust faster this time. I am trusting my instincts more. I don't know if I posted here about this, but in my search for a new T I encountered this one who made me feel totally unsafe. All sorts of alarm bells went off, and I trusted that and walked away from that T.

However, this T felt okay from the get-go, though I am still very cautious partly because she is being cautious with me and not pushing me....I think part of my trigger today is that I got close to telling her something about CSA that it took me about a year to disclose to old T. I felt very surprised and exposed, if that makes sense. So I shut down.