Thank you MKJ32. That "waiting for my life to start" point is so familiar to me. I am always thinking that if I could just decide on something i want to do- something that matches up with all my strengths and passions and abilities and needs, then I would indeed be happy- my life would finally start. I could forget about the past. If If If If If...

What I really have missed out on is realizing there is no one perfect job, or one perfect thing that will make my life "start". This is my life. I have just one. You are right, we can't go back and change anything.

Right now is the part of the post where I would normally go on and on and it would be depressing to me and anyway who reads it. I'm going to shock myself and completely change this chain of thought .. right now.. wait.. I am trying... wait some more.. yep, I think I can do it...!

Phew! Ok.. how about my attempt to end on a more positive note:

Life is not a final destination, it is a process. You can't just start your life, because that means there is a final destination, and not one that is open ended. Sort of.. Oh well, forget it, I tried anyway.