I do remember my first time, however I wish I didn’t. I will spare you the details, however, I will explain where the idea came from.

The idea of cutting came to me by accident actually, months before I started doing it to feel a release. I was cooking in the kitchen with my mother and I accidentally sliced my wrist with a knife (I dropped it and my other arm was right underneath. The excruciating pain was calming to me, invigorating. It was then that I tinkered with the idea of such pain causing me pleasure, such a release. It wasn’t until months after that I found the need to do it again.