Hi Nola,
You are suffering from depression at present. I hope you don't turn to medicines take up some absorbing interst. Instead of listening to music, try playing an instrument; organ, piano, violin or anything that take your fancy. If you like to listen to music, it is only a small step to the next stage of learning to read it and to play it.
As W.S says; "Things past remedy should be past care" Whenever the thoughts of your bad furtune intrudes into your thoughtstream make a conscious effort to think of something else.
Regarding your dreams; don't take too much notice of the content. When you're upset and depressed, you sleep near the waking level of consciousness and remember a lot of rubbish. Most of the strange and violent parts of the dream have the function of raisin or keeping up the level of consciousness. The problem is worse if you take anti depressants or other medicines. Tiredness is another factor.
I wish you a happy New Year.