I've been in therapy with the same therapist since 1998. It is very much my choice to continue to see her and to continue to pay her, as I'm still getting a lot out of the therapy.

When I first started seeing her I was in full blown crisis - dissociating a lot and having trouble functioning at work. So we initially focussed on stress management and grounding skills and day to day life skills.

Once I was more stable we started working on the underlying trauma issues that were at the root cause of many of my symptons. The way I look at it is, it took me 29 years to get this messed up it's going to take me more than 6 months to get healthy. We focussed almost exclusively on trauma work for 6 years dealing with the death of my mother, abuse and neglect - I stopped dissociating. About 4 years ago I admitted that I had a drinking problem and sought help for it. It's been an ongoing struggle so for awhile my T was simply focussed on helping me develop coping strategies to not drink. Now we're at the really tough stuff, interpersonal relationships and my strong tendancy to isolate and my absolute terror of intimacy. I have a lot of barriers that need to be chipped away at still.

At the same time, I am starting to feel like I am less reliant on therapy to function. Last year I dropped down from every week to every 2 weeks and that's going well. I still see myself as needing therapy for the next few years as I work on building skills and social connections which I am doing.

But yes I need long term therapy just as I will probably always need medication. With the two combined, I've become reasonably happy am involved in a number of hobbies and am able to hold down a challenging responsible job.

--splitimage