My T's on holiday for 9 days. Today is day 6. I know it doesn't sound like much to people who only have in-session contact once a week, but I usually have contact with her 6 days a week.

I'm missing her badly. I tried really hard in the days before the break to fill up with enough of her love to carry me through. It was working well but yesterday I started sinking. I ended up texting her, which I feel really horrible about. She ended up helping me during her 3 week break in the summer, and I really wanted to respect her time and show her that I can manage well. I knew she wouldn't reply, but I felt like I had to remind her that I still exist, which is stupid because her last text message to me says "I will be thinking about you and have loving feelings in my heart for you always". I know she hasn't forgotten me, I know she'll be back soon... I just don't feel it.

I feel anxious about posting this because PC has felt so unsettled recently. I know I'm risking incurring others' scorn for letting myself love her and admitting that I miss her. But I do. And I do. What to do?