wow...that was fast, fetting back to me...

I hear you with the bit about our teenagers; my daughter is 17 and son...woops, now 20..not teenager....anyhow.....

Yes, I am so much more "under the gun"...as they seem privy to all my troubles.
for me, my daughter, really struggles with it all. During my breakdown...she dealt with it in anger...so so angry at me.....outright cruel....not permitting me at school events....telling me how "stupid" I was...it's all those meds you take that are doing this to you...(this was the first time for me officially diagnosed bipolar, so meds became a new regime...always self medicated in terrible destructive ways...for years)....that being said, i suppose i scared the heck out of her and she didn't know what was happening to me....it effected me in so many ways...not just mentally...it took itself on physically and in appearance)
i was a true basket case...at one point, the car was taken from me....could not be trusted with it...should have been hospitalized but I vehementally refused...
a little more background.....I stumbled upon (randomly from ins directory) an awesome psch dr......he virtually created my own IOP ; intensive out patient program; for me...every day..7 days a week, i would go to his house (private practice in his home)and spend up to 4 hrs a day there...unable to leave, due to panic, severly depressed (suicidal) and just plain old scared to death.
He saved my life.

this is also when we started working with meds....really made me a zombie. He felt it was dire for them at the time, as far as mg wise......very high doses.

It's been a very long road. Have been through at least 15 different meds in 11 months time.....finally having landed on 7 of them...some I could not manage then and now, they are vital to my being able to be a mom, full time employee...a wife (which i still am terrible at....this due to the fact that my husband took on the same posistion as my daughter...even at one point, stealing and hiding my meds from me...he too, daying they were the cause.

they both could not get the fact, that I "couldn't just get over it" and stop it.
OOOOHhh as I look back, it is miraculous that we are still married.

Yes, very ADD too...sorry...I totally went off on another tangent..so let me get back about the kids...

It is my 20 year old son, that has been my saving grace....he constantly would ask me how's it goin? see me sobbing and comfort me...offer to do things for me...and the ever so meaningful...just a random rubbing my back and telling me everything will be alright...don't pay attention to daddy and G.....simply wonderful boy/young man....

and yes, the awful part with these meds, is how long it can take to workand alsok riding out the side effects, being told they will subside......

So, there you have it, with out even asking , is a bit of backgroundfor me.....there is so much more, trust me.....but i will spare you.

Hope you are well
Linda