Dear whenwillitend,
I feel very similarly....when will this horrible sadness, self-hatred, suicidal thinking, self-pity, anger, depression, etc. end?????? I have been flooded with horrible abuse memories since thanksgiving.... thinking, when will it end? How can I survive feeling this way for the rest of my life? (Projecting, catastrophizing).
My thinking is sometimes my own worst enemy. Unless I am thinking about something other than myself. And then, Today, I feel good. Strange. I forget that somedays are OK. And to stay in ONE DAY at a time. I can get through just 8 hours or 16 hours or 24 hours; but probably not the next 30 years in one day.
Hang in there, you are not alone,
Mary