Reading your post brought such a sense of relief in me. That probably sounds rude, but it feels like you were describing my experiences. It feels like someone understands.

I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, although they are not sure quite which type yet. I have always told everyone "but I don't get manic!" because I thought mania was only euphoria, flying off the walls etc. Now I have had described to me that hypomania and mania (to a degree) doesn't have to be happy . Severe anxiety and irritability, being very very focused and driven at times and not being able to stand being in your own skin or standing still for too long can be hypomania/mania.

I've had a long list of diagnoses and have cycled through most kinds of medications until I was put on Lithium (7 years before I was officially diagnosed) and experienced quite a lot of stability and relief. Suddenly, everything wasn't constantly spinning and I could benefit from other kinds of therapies.

Please hang in there and thank you again. It did me a world of good to read your post.

Mia