Hi Kathy,

Couldn't resist the opportunity to share. I agree with everyone here; it's a very important question. How can you bare your soul, or talk about really difficult issues if you don't think the person listening has any commitment to you or your therapy? Can't. Won't happen. You have to know it's a safe place, that they are interested and listening, and they'll keep in mind what's best for you, before you can start to trust them with anything more than the superficial stuff.

It happens to be one of my issues also, like bipolar bear and susan jane mentioned. I've been afraid from day 1 that I wouldn't move fast enough or I'd say something to supremely tick him off, and I'd be out on my nose. We address it all the time.
My T understands that it's a fear of mine. He's spent a lot of time reassuring me that good t doesn't work that way. We've also talked about how termination of therapy would work, and he's reassured me you still don't get dumped. He says even then it's a process, and there's always an open door policy, meaning if a client felt he or she wanted to return for some reason, he would see them again.

There is a chance that this person won't feel they are the best therapist for you, or vice versa. That can usually be addressed in the first meeting. If they feel they don't have the expertise to help you with your issues, they should tell you that up front and direct you to someone who can help you. If you feel for some reason that this just is not a person you are ever going to feel comfortable opening up to, whether it's their personality or personal habits or what ever, that's okay too, and you have the right to say, "great interview, but I think I'm going to see someone else."

If you are someone who has difficulty talking, bring a list of the questions that concern you. I did. It helped me remember them, and we went down them individually. I liked that he was willing to do that. If you look around, possibly on this site even, I know there are suggestions about good questions to ask at the beginning, such as how to they deal with contact between sessions, their rules about cancellations, their values and orientation to therapy. For instance, if you are an atheist, you might not want a christian counselor, or if they like psychoanalysis and expect to be seeing you for the next 10 yrs, but you are looking for brief therapy.

Good luck, I hope it turns out that this will be exactly the person you're looking for.
Quay