I am so sorry you feel this way, I remember too many days feeling this way, fact is I don't remember many days where I did not feel like this from 6-22 pretty much. Up until about a year ago I never felt real, never felt like I knew who I was or even that there was someone inside to be. Eventually, (hopefully sooner than later) you WILL find yourself and when you do, believe me, it's more real than you could have ever imagined.

I hope you have a safe happy journey finding yourself and creating yourself, it's a long road but I know you have the strength. I'm so sorry for your pain and if I could I would take it on myself only because I know how terrible it can be. Best wishes to you and if you ever need anything, myself and the rest of PC are just a PM away

((((wxwx)))) (if OK)