Quote:
Originally Posted by The Poet
Can I ask you something? How long were you in foster care and at what ages?
In one of your posts, it says you grew up with money, so I am assuming you were either reunified with your bios or adopted.
This does have a baring on the caring versus competence, which I will happily explain. You see in brief, the longer time you spend in the foster care system, the greater the chance that your placements increase frequently...and you see all kinds of therapists every placement change.. hence you get therapists who (a) don't care, (b) are newbies with savior complexes and burn-out quickly and get another job, or (c) can't get a "real job" elsewhere.
The longer you are in the system, you see alot of therapists paid by the State. The longer you are in, the more likely you are to get the ones that have burnt-out and don't care and are holding on to get the "state paid retirement" benefits. When a state-based therapist is seeing 60-80 clients a week with severe emotional and mental health issues, they stop caring and turn off...so they can go home at night and sleep not thinking about abused children.
Private practice therapists probably limit their practices to a certain number of "difficult" clients. State-based therapists can not do so.
If you think I am incorrect, email me and I will direct you to a blog of a phD who is not burnt out, but discusses her work as her job and what she has to do to survive, have her life and do well at work. It won't be what you are looking for about closing the door on her job and going home. But its real.
And in a perfect world, if a person really cares about someone, they would step back when they are harming them and let them go. This is true about T's, poor teachers, poor doctors, poor vets, etc. I don't think it is really caring when you are damaging someone more, IMO.
If those reading, don't believe me I can give you statistics about mental health treatment in the foster care system. But, i'll hold off, because so far my statistics have been well, i dont know.
|
Of course you can ask, but the answer is complicated. I will try to describe it as well as possible. I was 12 years old, and suicidal. I was taken into inpatient care by a psychiatrist with a God complex who believed that all children's difficulties were the result of abusive families. Under the 24 hour care of this facility, I was subtly alienated from my family and came to believe that several members of my family had sexually abused me (when this was not the case). I was detained in that facility for a year as a psychiatric inpatient while the psychiatrist fought (and eventually succeeded) to have me taken into state care. I went into foster care aged 13. The day I left the facility, I swore I would never see a mental health professional again. And I didn't, until aged 24, I realised that I would surely die by suicide unless I took the chance.
That's the truth, but I'm not sure how relevant it is for your points (all of which are undoubtedly true). Oh, to the other part- both my family of origin and my foster carers were 'monied'.
I also want to say that I think I can imagine the frustration of seeing people who 'have everything' fixated on their Ts when they have real life relationships which you would give anything for. But that's part of my truth too- that although I had a family who never abused me, I fixated on older females who- I felt- could give me something I didn't get from my family. I don't even know yet what it was I didn't get. And a lot of my suffering has come from the guilt that accompanies this wishing that all these people could be my mother, when I already have a mother whom I love and who loves me. So now I try to accept the wishing, and ditch the guilt, and work through it so I can appreciate and make the best of the real relationships I do have. I truly am not throwing them away, I'm doing everything I can to save my life, and to be able to get them back.
I'm so sorry, Poet. I hope you get all the good things you deserve.