Thread: I am a mess?
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Old Dec 31, 2010, 12:08 AM
doric doric is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalisha36 View Post
Why should I want to cry and hurt and TRIGGER in all the same words....Why such UGLY ______________.....Just to be done....There is a huge trigger right now....I appreciate bpd2 you saying what you just said being tired and all and I will re-read and re-read...I am not the sort that just looks once and stops..I am the sort of person to re-evaluate and really try...I am a good student for some one that NEVER ever got out of HIGH SCHOOL LOL....

I feel abandoned so alone even here OMG??? I want to cry? SCARED?? WEIRD PLACE....Just like it's over?? .......WHY?? Maybe It's understanding? Dunno....Maybe realization I am not alone? Maybe it's that I have to be around allot of kids the next two weeks cuz of winter break? UGH and be "normal" cuz My kids are anything but antisocial....I will surrender to having kids over even when I don't want to and the "other"s who are part of my illness that are teenagers or youngster's themselves that luv to have kids around even though I see it as exhausting....I know this dose not belong HERE but just trying to say that it's a hand in hand why it is overwhelming to me!!!!!!!! DONE....Just wishing it all to go away....I never underestimate any of your suggestions as ugly or as stupid as I may seem atm...So please just excuse my ignorance........Sry for being emotionally imbalanced....I want to be strong...I do.........I just effin suck and wish I could hurt a few hundred people RIGHT NOW????

It sounds like you are overwhelmed by all that is expected of you and feel like you will let your children and others down if you can't live up to expectations.

You will drive yourself into the ground trying to please everyone and end up worse. You have to operate within the limits of your capablities and let others know what you can do and cannot do. You are thoughtful and trying hard, that should be obvious to those that are close to. If they care and I am sure they do they will understand if you let them know.
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