That's a different story. Now, dothiepin is one of the dirtiest (side effects) of the tricyclics, but sometimes it's used to ward off anxiety, or to help with sleep. Nonetheless, you'd do just what you are doing now, if you were directly under a doctor's care.

You need to tell your doctor, or therapist, what it is you're doing. You've confided in us. You could print out your messages from here, if that's easier.

You've not thought this through. There is all kinds of help for you.

Talk some more, please. I didn't understand what you were facing, and now that I have a sense, I'd like to talk some more about it.

Lar